I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
