We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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