Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
