it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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