I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
