Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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