That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
