ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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