How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
