you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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