He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
