If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
