she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
