yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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