you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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