did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
