Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
