im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
