cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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