best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
