I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
