if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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