Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
