Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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