he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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