I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
