am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
