everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Randomize
