this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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