I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Drake has all the answers
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
