it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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