i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
