he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
