No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
