Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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