PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
