You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
