please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
