Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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