Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
