epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
