These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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