i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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