I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
