Can Purell be used as lube?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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