Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
