You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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