I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
