Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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