im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i just google imaged poop.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
