I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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