question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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