I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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